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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in BIFs and SIFs.com -- For Collectors, By Collectors' LiveJournal:

Saturday, August 21st, 2004
3:50 pm
[xchasedsanityx]
Overheard today...
Collector to Debtor: 

"Why don't you drive your home down to WalMart and fill out an application?!!?!?!"
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
8:49 pm
[xchasedsanityx]
To Get Us Started. :) -- Don't mind the markup.... .this will be the last time you'll see it. :)
Best Debtor Excuse of The Day - July 3, 2004
 
Best Debtor Excuse of The Day:

"I can't pay my bill because the state kidnapped my children and sold them."
=====================

(Additional Funny Conversation Overheard Today:)

Debtor: "Well, send me something in writing, or I won't pay."
Collector: "Maa'm, we've sent you a FOREST of paper already and it didn't do any good."

Praise Be To Cash. $$$ 
=====

Debtor:  "The judge looked into her crystal ball and told me I was an unfit parent and wouldn't let me keep my children."
Collector:  "Well, ma'am, quite frankly, if *I* were the judge, I wouldn't even let you keep a dog."

============

Debtor:  I can't afford to pay ANYTHING.  I'm SO broke.
Collector:  Should I call an ambulance?
Debtor:  Whh...whhat?
Collector: Should I *call* an ambulance?
Debtor:  No, why....
Collector:  Well, if you are SOOO broke, you must be starving to death.


:)

Praise Be To Cash


$$$$$

=============

(After profiling a debtor and learning that they currently pay $500 per month to their CHURCH as a DONATION......).... *yeah, I know...*

Collector:  Perhaps you could hold off paying your church for a few months?
Debtor:  Well, I can't do that.  The church has ALWAYS been there for me.
Collector:  Do you think they would help you with this?
Debtor:  No.
Collector:  So it's OK for your church to ask YOU for money, but when YOU need it, it's not ok to ask the CHURCH to help?
Debtor:  No, the lord would be upset.  The lord says I should help out my church.
Collector:  The lord also says you should pay all of your bills.  Do you think the lord is looking at you favorably right now?
Debtor:  (shouting:) Don't tell me that the lord shys away from me.  I KNOW the lord.
Collector:  Well, if you KNOW the lord, you also know that if you don't pay this debt, the lord won't be there for you when it's time.

Result:

Post Dated Check On File 


;-)

Praise Be To Cash $$$$$$
====================

Overheard in our department today:

Collector:  Is Jane Smith there?
Debtor: (actually Jane Smith,)  No.
Collector: Can I leave a message for her?
*silence on line*
Collector:  Hello?
*no response*
Collector: (In a game show announcer voice:)  You *may* have won a million dollars!
Debtor: Hello?
Collector:  (Still in game show announcer voice:) Is this Jane Smith, with Social Security Number 123-45-6789?
Debtor: Yes, yes it is.
Collector: (Back to collector voice)  Well, you haven't won a million dollars, but you owe
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<our [...] client's>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Best Debtor Excuse of The Day - July 3, 2004
&nbsp;
Best Debtor Excuse of The Day:

"I can't pay my bill because the state kidnapped my children and sold them."
=====================

(Additional Funny Conversation Overheard Today:)

Debtor: "Well, send me something in writing, or I won't pay."
Collector: "Maa'm, we've sent you a FOREST of paper already and it didn't do any good."

Praise Be To Cash. $$$&nbsp;
=====

Debtor:&nbsp; "The judge looked into her crystal ball and told me I was an unfit parent and wouldn't let me keep my children."
Collector:&nbsp; "Well, ma'am, quite frankly, if *I* were the judge, I wouldn't even let you keep a dog."

============

Debtor:&nbsp; I can't afford to pay ANYTHING.&nbsp; I'm SO broke.
Collector:&nbsp; Should I call an ambulance?
Debtor:&nbsp; Whh...whhat?
Collector: Should I *call* an ambulance?
Debtor:&nbsp; No, why....
Collector:&nbsp; Well, if you are SOOO broke, you must be starving to death.


:)

Praise Be To Cash


$$$$$

=============

(After profiling a debtor and learning that they currently pay $500 per month to their CHURCH as a DONATION......).... *yeah, I know...*

Collector:&nbsp; Perhaps you could hold off paying your church for a few months?
Debtor:&nbsp; Well, I can't do that.&nbsp; The church has ALWAYS been there for me.
Collector:&nbsp; Do you think they would help you with this?
Debtor:&nbsp; No.
Collector:&nbsp; So it's OK for your church to ask YOU for money, but when YOU need it, it's not ok to ask the CHURCH to help?
Debtor:&nbsp; No, the lord would be upset.&nbsp; The lord says I should help out my church.
Collector:&nbsp; The lord also says you should pay all of your bills.&nbsp; Do you think the lord is looking at you favorably right now?
Debtor:&nbsp; (shouting:) Don't tell me that the lord shys away from me.&nbsp; I KNOW the lord.
Collector:&nbsp; Well, if you KNOW the lord, you also know that if you don't pay this debt, the lord won't be there for you when it's time.

Result:

Post Dated Check On File&nbsp;


;-)

Praise Be To Cash $$$$$$
====================

Overheard in our department today:

Collector:&nbsp; Is Jane Smith there?
Debtor: (actually Jane Smith,)&nbsp; No.
Collector: Can I leave a message for her?
*silence on line*
Collector:&nbsp; Hello?
*no response*
Collector: (In a game show announcer voice:)&nbsp; You *may* have won a million dollars!
Debtor: Hello?
Collector:&nbsp; (Still in game show announcer voice:) Is this Jane Smith, with Social Security Number 123-45-6789?
Debtor: Yes, yes it is.
Collector: (Back to collector voice)&nbsp; Well, you haven't won a million dollars, but you owe <our client's name here> over $54,000.&nbsp; Go get your checkbook.

Praise Be To Cash $$$$$

=================

Debtor:&nbsp; I can't pay man, my girlfriend has been cheating on me and I just moved out.
Collector: Yeah, I know what that's like.
Debtor:&nbsp; What do you mean?
Collector:&nbsp; Well, *MY* girlfriend turned into a major whore and is sleeping with people like it's going out of style.
Debtor:&nbsp; You're kidding?
Collector:&nbsp; No.&nbsp; She is a TOTALLY different person.
Debtor:&nbsp; That sucks.&nbsp; Fuck her, she's not worth your time anyway.
Collector: Yeah, you're right.&nbsp; Now, how about your money?

;)

Praise Be To Cash&nbsp; $$$$$$

==============

Ron in reference to the dialer (if you don't know dialer, post a comment and ask...)

"The fucking dialer is nothing but a god damned message leaving extravaganza."

=)

==============

Debtor Excuse
&nbsp;
Debtor:&nbsp; I can't pay this bill.&nbsp; I'm disabled.
Collector:&nbsp; What's your disability?
Debtor:&nbsp; I'm anti-depressant.
Collector:&nbsp; ANTI-Depressent?
Debtor:&nbsp; Yes.
Collector:&nbsp; So you're NOT depressed???
Debtor:&nbsp; Listen here fucker, I have a lot of stress in my life and if you keep harassing me, I'm going to kill myself.
Collector:&nbsp; I'm not harassing you.
Debtor:&nbsp; Yes, yes you are.&nbsp; And I think I might go get a gun.
Collector:&nbsp; Should I call 911?
Debtor:&nbsp; Why?
Collector:&nbsp; Because if you are going to kill yourself you'll probably need help.&nbsp; Hold on..... I'll look up your local police department.
Debtor:&nbsp; There's no need to do that......
Collector:&nbsp; Are you going to kill myself?
Debtor:&nbsp; I might if you don't stop calling.
Collector:&nbsp; Well, could you do us a favor?
Debtor:&nbsp; What's that?
Collector:&nbsp; Could you pay your bill before you do?

*click*

=)))))))&nbsp;

==============

"Least Sophisticated Consumer"

In other words...

Make it so a fucking MORON could understand it.

===============

Collector: Is Elvis there?
Debtor:&nbsp; No, Elvis is dead.
Collector: No, Elvis lives.&nbsp; Go put on your blue suede shoes and get your checkbook.

===============

Collector:&nbsp; Is Mary there?
Debtor:&nbsp; No she's ill.
Collector:&nbsp; She's "ill?"
Debtor:&nbsp; Yes and she can't come to the phone.
(Mary yelling in background)
Collector:&nbsp; People don't answer the phone when they're ill, but they can scream?

*click*

================

Debtor:&nbsp; Fuck You
Collector:&nbsp; You can't!
Debtor: Fuck You
Collector:&nbsp; You can't!

(had to be there)


=================

UnRelated:

When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you.
8:43 pm
[xchasedsanityx]
Best Debtor Excuse
Best Debtor Excuse of The Day:

"I can't pay my bill because the state kidnapped my children and sold them."
=====================

(Additional Funny Conversation Overheard Today:)

Debtor:  "Well, send me something in writing, or I won't pay."
Collector:  "Maa'm, we've sent you a FOREST of paper already and it didn't do any good."

Praise Be To Cash. $$$
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